Black Butterflies
by InvaderRee
Summary: An old... friend? Enemy? Whoever she was, Tak is back, and with a vengeance. Zim is furious, Dib freaks out, Gaz tries really hard not to care. The way things are going, Earth might need to be saved soon. Will a certain exiled Invader need saving too? This is TAGR.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note of Doom: **First and foremost, this is a girlxgirl pairing. Don't like, don't read :) And 2nd, sorry for never writing the next part of Slave to Games. I promise I'll get around to it... eventually. Third... Even though this is so annoyingly short, please enjoy:) (and review!)

Invader Zim and all of its characters do not belong to me, obviously. If it did... well, I would probably be working on some other cartoon instead of writing fanfiction for an obscure pairing:)

* * *

She ran, pushing through the crowd.

They were all hyped up, cheering, jeering, just _loving_ the show that was being put on for them. She was too afraid to even feel disgust anymore.

Finally she pushed through, half-falling over the railing into the crowd below. She caught the end of the accusation, the declaration. A wild cheer went up, quickly falling into tense, anticipating silence.

One last command from the executioner, and…

She almost screamed, but choked, as the deadly flash went out, electricity sparking down the two fat cables in the prisoner's back…

Ash, floating like black butterflies onto the stage below.

* * *

The alarms started to go off, and the Plookesians woke to find that their traveling companion was gone and stealing an escape pod.

And escaping the bomb that was about to go off any second.

"Sorry, guys," She whispered. She wasn't sure she meant it anymore. She looked down at the controls. Launch was simple. Just press the big red button and hope that you survive.

And then she was hurtling through the atmosphere, engulfed in flames. She wondered if the creatures down there would think she was a shooting star, or part of the mysterious explosion that had just taken place.

Through the tiny window, Tak saw wide, endless blue, and her eyes widened.

_Oh, Irk, don't tell me I'm landing here_…

* * *

The bus squeaked to a stop, and screaming children ran out. Gaz followed more slowly, holding a wide black umbrella over her head, and carrying her GameSlave in the other hand.

_I should've just stayed home… I can't believe even Zim got out of this…_

Gaz followed the other children across the parking lot and onto the sand. She separated from the rest of the group as they ran to play in the water, while she disappeared behind a sandy cliff, and sat in the sand, turning on her GameSlave.

…_What's that sound?_

She looked up, just in time to get slapped in the face by a huge wave.

"…" Gaz tried to shake off most of the water, and when she looked down at her GameSlave, she saw that the screen had blinked out, and however much she shook it, pressed buttons, and screamed at it, the GameSlave just wouldn't turn on again. Gaz flung it aside in disgust.

_Ugh. Remind me, _why_ did I decide to go on this stupid field trip again?_

The sound of the other kids laughing and enjoying themselves just made her angrier.

_Idiots._

Gaz stared glumly at the water; at the silver object bobbing closer and closer. She watched it until it washed up on the sand a few feet away, still hot enough to make steam rise from the damp sand. It was about the size of a car, just sitting there on the beach.

_My stupid brother would probably be all over it now, taking stupid pictures and stuff…_

There was a hissing sound, and part of the metal shell fell to the sand. Inside, a light blinked, on and off, revealing something huddled inside.

_An alien?_ It wasn't like Gaz didn't believe in extraterrestrial life. It was just the intelligence of that life that she questioned.

Whatever it was, it _was_ alive. It dragged itself out onto the wet sand. Light steam rose from its skin.

Moaning, it turned over. And "it" was a "she", a "she" that Gaz knew, more or less, from five years ago…

_Tak?_

After a moment of hesitation, Gaz pulled the Irken out of reach of the waves. Then she stood back.

…_I won't do anything._

She walked away, leaving Tak lying motionless in the sand.

* * *

Tak sat up slowly, and brushed sand off her clothes. She looked around.

_A beach. That's what these are called. Not the best place to be, on this planet…_

This planet. This puny little blue sphere was what she had been focusing on for years now. It was the only way to get her life back.

_Zim. I hope you die. I hope you'll die in the most horrible way possible, and I'll be sitting there at your execution. And you're paying for the snacks._ She laughed darkly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Gosh, sorry guys, it's been more than 2 years since I bothered checking up on this, or really any of the IZ fandom! But here's a _very_ late chapter 2, and more (and sweet sweet yuris, of course) is definitely on the way.

* * *

It was Monday. Usually Gaz wouldn't even bother showing up before first period homeroom on a Monday, but it was going to be so worth it. Just the expressions on those idiots' faces…

Dib and Zim had both stayed back a grade in the sixth grade (along with most of the class) since nobody could get any learning done with all their stupid arguing. Unfortunately, this meant that in high school, when Dib and his amazing technobrain figured out how to mess with the scheduling, Gaz was trapped in all the same classes with the two idiots. The only good side to this was that she had front-row seats to what could be the funniest thing that happened all year.

So Gaz sat in the back of the classroom, as far away from the windows as she could get. But instead of looking down at her brand new GameSlave, she watched the front of the classroom, just waiting for…

Someone knocked on the door, opening it.

"Mr. Couch, you have a new student. Her name is…"

"Tak," the new student said, walking past the secretary to stand in front of the class. "Of course, some of you might know me. Due to the unfortunate accident at the Dee-_lishus_ Weenie factory, I haven't been able to attend school until now. But rest assured, I am _alive _and _well," _she finished, directing that statement towards the green boy sitting in front of her.

And she smirked.

And Zim's jaw dropped to the floor.

Dib stood up, pointing dramatically at Tak and screaming something unintelligible.

"Yeah, well, uh… New girl," the teacher droned, and paused, seeming to forget where he was for a minute before pointing. "Sit back there next to… that weird goth girl."

Gaz ignored that comment. In fact, she was already ignoring the entire world, instead focusing her attention on Ultimate Piggy Assassins II. Tak sat down next to her.

"Hey."

…

_"Hey."_

Still no answer.

"Hu-…_you_, um, whatever your name is. I…"

"You what?"

The human girl wouldn't even look at her.

Every time Dib or Zim turned around to stare at her, Tak was always ready to smirk, laugh, or glare right back at them, but more than half of the time, she was watching Gaz out of the corner of her eye. Tak couldn't shake the feeling that there was something different, something she needed to remember... but what was it?

* * *

"Stop right there."

Gaz only looked up from her game when Tak stood right in front of her, blocking the doorway.

"Move," she said quietly, trying to push past her.

"No."

Gaz brushed her bangs back, glaring up at the taller girl. "Normal humans go to _lunch_, you know."

"We both know you're not going to eat that slop anyway," Tak snapped back.

Gaz rolled her eyes. "Just back off, Tak. If you want your ship back, you didn't even have to ask. You can _have_ it."

Tak's eyes went wide; for a second Gaz could see a flicker of her huge, buglike violet ones. "Wh—Are you serious?"

"It's just being annoying since Dib messed with your personality or whatever. I don't care what you do with it."

"So you're just letting me... take it." The Irken's face clearly showed her total disbelief. And suspicion. Gaz let out a short laugh.

"Is that too complicated for you to understand?"

Tak's hands balled up into fists. "_No,_ just… No traps? No _resistance?"_

"I don't know. You might want to ask Dib how to disable the alarm system." Tak gave her a look, and Gaz said, "Whatever. You can do whatever you want, Tak. I'm going to lunch."

Gaz pushed past her and walked down the hall towards the skool cafeteria, leaving Tak staring after her.

_She's not even conceited, she's just… apathetic,_ Tak decided.

* * *

Late that night, Gaz looked up from the pale glow of the GameSlave screen as she heard voices and crashing noises from downstairs. A few minutes later, there was a loud bang and the smell of smoke. A bright light darted past her window, dipping and swerving off into the night sky, leaving a rather conspicuous smoke trail.

Dib's bedroom door banged open.

"What was that?!"

Gaz could hear Dib stumble through the hallway and crash down the stairs. _"...NOO_! Where'd it go?!" Pause, for his brain to catch up. Gaz could practically imagine him sinking to his knees and screaming up at the ceiling. "ZIM!"

Gaz smirked and leaned back onto her pillow.

_Aaaand she's gone._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **Hey guys! Time for a new chapter :D This one is short-ish, and there's one more chapter on the way really soon! Warning for blood (but not a lot of it).

* * *

The next day, tension was clearly high. No matter what class they were in, Dib kept turning to glare at Tak, while Tak just laughed quietly. During lunch, Dib sat down next to Gaz yet again, but got up a few minutes later to scream at Tak. Tak just cackled.

Gaz tried her best to ignore it all, but somehow it was too hard. By the end of the day, Tak was carrying herself like a queen, only paying attention to Dib and Zim's reactions and smirking wider every time Dib turned around.

Gaz bit her lip and decided not to look up from the GameSlave for a while.

"...creepy goth girl. Hey, you!"

She looked up at the teacher's pudgy, livid face.

"What."

"You're paired up with the new girl."

"I'm _what?"_ Gaz gave him a look that could peel paint but was blocked by the man's hideous fuzzy lip growth—oh wait, mustache. A chair scraped to her left and Gaz whirled her head around to see Tak moving the closest empty desk right next to hers.

"Nice to meet you. This looks to be an interesting project."

Gaz clenched her teeth and went back to her videogame.

Tak had opened a notebook. "So I was thinking we could discuss the building of your ancient Egyptian pyramids..."

"..."

"Which were actually built under the direction of Skadoodlyflop E'enshimer the Lesser, distant cousin of Gorgleflorhp the Eighty-seventh, who played a minor role in the fall of the Old Harphynexic Empire..."

"..."

"I'm making up completely hilarious inaccurate historical facts and you pay me no attention."

"..."

"Have you gone into a state of holiday poultry-induced catatonia three months early?"

"..."

"Would you _please_ look up from that stupid machine and—"

"Would _you_ just shut up and leave me _alone?_" Gaz said through clenched teeth. "I don't care what you want to do with this dumb project he's not even going to actually grade; just leave me alone and go bug my brother instead."

"I was just trying to extend the olive branch of this hideous human disease called friendship, so—"

"Well what if I don't want your hideous friendship disease? What if I just want you to _leave me alone._"

"Look here, stupid girl—"

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Gaz got up, turned around and exited the room with the rest of the herd of students. Tak was left staring after her. For some stupid reason she was so angry that sparks started to sweep through her holographic disguise.

"Hey. New girl."

"Yes, Teacher?" She forced her voice to be disgustingly sweet.

"Clean up all this mess. I'm not doing this myself."

Tak looked around the now-empty classroom. The desks and chairs were in disarray, the discarded papers, gum wads and snack litter of the school day scattered on the floor.

"_Hey._ I'm not waiting here all day."

The broom and dustpan in the corner of the classroom seemed to mock her. For a moment she thought she could feel the lingering ache of seventy years of hard work on Dirt.

"Sorry, Teacher, I have important business to attend to elsewhere. Have a pleasant afternoon."

Tak disappeared from the classroom before the pudgy man could say another word. Her jaw clenched in frustration, she stormed down the hallway and out the side door, passing by two humans locked in a disgusting spit-swapping embrace. By the time she reached the edge of the woods, she was running, her disguise completely forgotten.

She didn't stop when she encountered a tall chain-link fence; she simply vaulted over it, compensating for her lack of height with her PAK's slender spider-legs. Blind with rage, she didn't notice the gnarled mess of metal and glass that lay behind the fence in time to stop herself. Her body slammed against the old junked car and she tumbled down the artificial mountain of abandoned vehicles. She managed to catch herself on a twisted piece of metal, letting out a cry as the rusted steel cut through the high-tech synthetic fabric of her gloves with ease. She fell to her knees, cradling her hand as pinkish blood welled up, spattering in dark stains on her tunic.

Completely disgusted, she screamed in frustration and pain.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Alright, here's another short chapter! Slight blood warning again. The next chapter needs a little more editing, but it will be done soon. Look forward to it :)

When Gaz walked into homeroom the next day, she was surprised—yet not really surprised at all—to find Tak slumped over the desk next to her usual spot, head resting on one arm, and the other laid flat on the etched and graffitied wooden surface. She didn't look up when Gaz settled into her seat.

Gaz didn't say a word throughout the entire class, and the silence didn't feel hostile or even very uncomfortable. Tak had been prepared to bite back at jeers and insults, but instead...

Maybe Gaz didn't understand it, but this was what Tak needed most from her. Someone silent and more-or-less reassuring.

She felt her body relax, her breath and heartbeat falling into a slower rhythm, and drifted off...

* * *

"Alright, _Tak_, I've decided you can keep your ship, on two conditions. _One, _you—"

"Shut up, Dib, she's trying to sleep."

"Since when do you care about—She's an _alien_, Gaz, she's probably somehow part of Zim's evil plans!"

"You're just mad that you lost your precious alien technology."

"This isn't_ about _the—Okay, well yeah, it is, but... _Aaugh!"_

Angry footsteps, moving away.

A chair squeaking across the floor.

A hand hovering above her head, warm and hesitant.

No touch.

White noise.

* * *

_"...Still under..."_

_"Good... the scalpel..."_

_"...growth hasn't stopped..."_

_"...useless. Remove it."_

_"...harmful. She won't..."_

_"It's necessary... this smeet can't ever..."_

_"Yes, Sir."_

* * *

Tak toppled sideways out of her chair with a yelp. She managed to land on her bad hand. She grit her teeth and watched as blood welled up, pink quickly flickering into red as the hologram adjusted. A few kids stared; she just ignored their empty gazes as she stood up, dusted off her dress, and got back into her seat.

When she moved her hand to a more comfortable position, she left pink smears on the desk.

Tak swallowed hard.

She rubbed the stains away with her sleeve.

"You alright?" Gaz asked softly, her gaze unreadable through her thick hair.

"Yes." _No. Nonononono._

Gaz gave a half shrug and went back to her game.

Tak forced her face to stay calm as she waited for the nanobots to start doing their work.

Red ran down her hand, splattering fuschia on the scratched-up wood.

* * *

When homeroom ended, Tak escaped out the door as quickly as she could, easily sidestepping the crowds of idiotic highskool children and slipping around the side of the building. She called for MiMi, and leaned against the rough brick wall to wait. She turned off her holographic disguise for a minute to look at her hand. Her wound was starting to close back up again. She gave a quiet sigh of relief.

Nothing was wrong.

* * *

"Alright, kids, the project has been extended for... another two weeks."

After this stunning announcement, the teacher went right back to sleeping at his desk, and the students returned to their casual destruction of school property. Tak smirked, turning smoothly to look at Gaz.

"Well, _partner_, looks like we have another two weeks together."

"That's nice," Gaz mumbled without looking up from her game. The Irken girl didn't miss the hint of a smirk on her black-painted lips.

It was already mid-November, a little over three months since Tak crashed on Earth. She had managed to mostly repair her ship, though she was missing a few crucial parts that were difficult to get on this faraway planet.

_I'll just sneak into Zim's base and use his computer to buy them... with his funds. _She chuckled quietly. Gaz raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Tak caught herself in a small smile. Gaz's company had become an enjoyable thing. She didn't dare entertain the thought of friendship, of course.

Thinking about friendship was only asking for bad luck.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: ** Hey guys! Here's the last chapter focusing on Tak for a while. No warnings. Thanks for reading! :)

* * *

A chilly fog fell over the city as Tak left her base that night. The moon was full, and everything glowed eerily. She kept up a quick pace to keep warm, though the cold still sapped her energy anyway. Her PAK wasn't responding to the drop in her body heat as usual, but she had more important matters to worry about than a hunk of metal that had been through thirty-three missions and several off-duty fights she didn't bother to keep count of.

She dodged the headlights of an oncoming car, and the empty can that was thrown out the car window by a laughing teenage boy. She reviewed her mental map of the suburbs: she was only a block from Zim's house. She prepared to put her plan in action.

She pulled out her communications device and accessed the telephone line at Zim's house.

"Helloooo?" Gir's tinny voice. Perfect.

"Yes, um. This is Pizza Parlor... Express. You ordered ten pineapple, ham, and bell pepper pizzas?"

"_Ohhh._ Yup! Mmmmm, puppies."

"Okay, sir, our deliverywoman will arrive promptly."

"Yaaayy! I like youuu." A childish giggle.

A rustling sound, and a heavy thud.

"AAAHH! IT'S EATING MAH HEAD! AHHH! BUT I LOVED YOUUUUUU, PIGGY LADY!"

The line goes dead.

Tak shook her head at Zim's incompetent SIR unit. This was all too easy.

She changed her holographic disguise to that of a female food delivery person, complete with a wobbly pile of steaming, greasy boxes. She wobbled convincingly up the sidewalk and rang the doorbell.

"Who iiiiiiis iiiiit?"

"Pizza Parlor Express. Here's your delivery."

"Ooooh!" The tiny robot opens the door, grabbing for the pizzas. Tak quickly dodged his spindly arms.

"Where would you like me to leave these?"

"Ummm... in mah TUMMY! WHEEEE! PIZZAAAAAAH!"

She walked towards the kitchen table, ignoring the SIR unit's spastic glee. She put the nonexistent pizza boxes down—and whirled around to grab Gir and tie him up with his own cable arms. He whined loudly until she stuffed a toy pig in his mouth. She watched him roll around on the floor before deciding it was a better idea to stuff him in the garbage bin.

_And with that annoyance gone, I can finally get what I want._

She quickly found the "secret" passageway to Zim's lab, going over her plans as the elevator descended and she made her way through the dimly lit tunnels. She had made sure that Zim was on the other side of the city that night, probably chasing Dib or something stupid like that. The door was wide open for her, figuratively... No, literally.

_What an idiot of an Invader... how could he risk leaving his underground labs unsecured?!_

It only made her job easier, so there was no point in being angry about it. She stepped past the doorway and paused. No alarms seemed to have gone off, though it couldn't hurt to be sure. She ran quickly to the main computer and found the button she wanted.

"ALARM SYSTEM FULLY DEACTIVATED."

"This is just too easy," she muttered.

There was a loud bang from above, and horrible screeching noise came down the tunnel towards the lab entrance. Tak prepared her weapons, bracing herself for confrontation.

"WHEE-OOO WHEE-OOO!" Gir ricocheted off the wall at the other end of the lab's main chamber, and landed in a roll, pointing a banana at Tak's head. "Stop right there! You're under arrest for—heeheeheeheee!" The robot fell to the floor, rolling around as if an invisible hand were tickling him. Tak watched, fighting a smile of amusement as put her laser robot arm back in her PAK. The defective SIR unit was harmless, really. As GIR lay laughing on the floor, Tak logged onto the Irken network. She quickly found the parts she was looking for, and...

_Well, I could use a few snacks... maybe a crate or three._ She snickered as she added her favorite (and most expensive) snacks to her order.

"Oooooh. I like those." GIR peered up at her. "I want _thooooose ones."_ The robot gave a childish pout.

"You can have some, if you _behave._"

"YEEEEAHHHHHH!" GIR started dancing. Tak shook her head. She entered in the delivery coordinates and finalized her order.

"GIR? GIR! Where are you?!" Zim's voice came through the speakers.

"I'm here masteeeeerr!"

"Where's 'here'?"

"Oh! Uh. I dunno!" He burst out laughing again. Zim made a frustrated noise, and the speakers cut off.

_Gotta get moving._

"GIR."

"Yeeeees?"

"Where is the nearest exit?"

"Uhnnn... Piggy!" The little robot grabbed her hand and dragged her down the passageway to the elevator. He madly smashed buttons, and they finally got out in a small room that had a pungent barnyard odor. GIR ran to a dark corner and dug around in a pile of garbage. A pig ran out of the pile, squealing. GIR sat down on the floor and began to sob loudly.

"GIR! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!" Zim's irritating voice rang throughout his base once again. Tak fidgeted impatiently.

"GIR, how do you get out of the base?"

"Mah piggy..." He pointed at the wall. Now Tak noticed a small tunnel, the perfect size for a large pig or a small Irken female. Tak ran towards the small opening, and turned back to GIR.

"Don't you dare tell Zim I was here." With a sigh, she added, "I'll bring you snacks."

GIR giggled and latched on to her leg. "I like youuuuu, pizza lady."

"Okay, GIR."

She crawled a long distance through the nasty tunnel, which ended in a mud puddle in the bushes behind Zim's house. The pig rolled around in the mud, snorting happily. Tak stood up, wiped the muck off her skirt, and ran off into the darkness.

_Another victory for a real Invader._


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Haven't really got much to say about this chapter, besides the fact that it's a little longer than usual. Enjoy! :)

* * *

When dawn came, so did a cold rain. Tak watched through the window as the liquid poison fell over the grounds of the mansion that belonged to the owner of the Deelishus Weenie Corporation. She could have been spending the time in her underground base—miles and miles of tunnels and labs that snaked under the property—but there was something beautiful about the rain, deadly as it was. The way it trickled down the roof, puddled in the gravel walkway, and made tiny glistening beads on the window... as much as she hated it, it was beautiful.

_Earth. The third wateriest planet in this sector of the galaxy. Somehow it's able to support life... The intelligence of this life is... debatable._ She chuckled.

Maybe she would destroy this planet. Certainly she could drain its oceans, lock up all the poisonous water in a containment facility on its deserted moon.

She watched the water hit the few remaining leaves of the deciduous tree outside the kitchen window. Finally one yellow leaf surrendered to the onslaught of the falling liquid, and fell to the ground.

_Everything dies in its time._

* * *

Gaz lay on her bed in her room, which was comfortably dark and warm, unlike the outside world. The rain had started just before dawn, right after she finally made it through to the Great Bacon Fortress of Piggsmouth. Her noble Pork Knight perished soon after, and she decided to put her Game Slave away for a while.

She stared at the ceiling, listening to the sound of rain on the roof. She didn't feel tired yet. It was probably time for a snack or something, but she didn't feel hungry either. She rolled over and stretched and checked the time. It was still too unreasonably early to bother to do anything. She grabbed a stuffed animal and threw it off her bed in frustration.

"This is _stupid,"_ she growled at the toy. It stared blankly at the ceiling with its plastic eyes. Gaz scrunched her eyes shut in futile hope that she might fall asleep—nope. She grabbed another stuffed animal, threw it up in the air, and punched it in the stomach. It flew across the room and hit the wall, and slid to the floor with a dying squeak.

"Fine, world," she grumbled. "I give up."

Sock-clad feet hit the floor.

The closet door was flung open.

A quick wardrobe selection made—black on black and purple and grey.

As she passed by Dib's bedroom door, she yelled, _"Dib,_ I'm walking to the store. Don't burn the house down."

"Mmmhuuhhhnnnn?" came the sleepy reply.

Gaz didn't bother to continue that lively conversation. She went downstairs, dragged her old purple raincoat out of the coat closet, and stuffed her feet in her black rain boots. Her house key went into one pocket, her wallet into the other. She didn't really plan to go to the store, but hot coffee couldn't hurt eventually.

The rain had slowed to a drizzle by now. Thick clouds covered the sky. The world seemed washed in chilly gray, and the early morning sun didn't offer much warmth from inside its cloudy nest. Gaz was still warm and safe inside her raincoat. For once, the layers of dark clothing she was used to wearing were actually comfortable.

An hour or two passed and Gaz found herself at the park, at the top of the big metal slide that was always too hot in the summer. Water still dripped down the slide, forming a puddle at the bottom where countless tiny feet had landed. The view from the top was strange. The sky seemed a lot smaller than it had when she was little. The playground was more run-down now, more suited for little kids than a fifteen-year-old girl.

It was quiet and lonely.

Cold and gray.

She sighed and adjusted her hood.

Rainy November mornings were beautiful.

A bright flash of light to her left attracted her attention. There was a dull bang and a cloud of smoke rose from the trees.

"That's gotta be Zim," she muttered, but didn't bother moving from her perch at the top of the slide. Long minutes passed, and a chilly drizzle started up again. Soon enough she heard running footsteps. She turned slightly toward the noise.

Tak was quickly making her way across the open middle of the park, with MiMi dashing beside her. She wore her human disguise, big bright pink rain boots and a matching hooded poncho. The Irken finally noticed the human girl sitting on the slide, and stopped a few yards away, gloved hands on her hips.

"What are you doing out at this hour, in this disgusting weather?" Tak asked.

Gaz brushed the hair from her eyes. "I could say the same for you."

"It's none of your business."

"Got it."

"...Where is your brother? I know he's watching."

"I don't know if he's watching, but he's probably asleep in his room, or whatever stupid teenage boys do on Saturday mornings."

Tak sneered. "If this is a—"

"It's not a stupid trap," Gaz growled. "You're the one who interrupted my _alone time._"

"As far as I understand, by human laws this is a public space."

"Well by 'human laws' you're probably disturbing the peace with your stupid rocket ships."

"You saw the package land?"

"I think anybody with two eyes and a functioning brain did."

"Where did it land?"

"Like I'm helping you. Ask your dumb robot."

"MiMi doesn't know the tracking number. The heat signature is difficult to find in the rain and dense foliage."

"Too bad. I'm not going into those gross woods."

"Thanks for the help, partner," Tak muttered.

Gaz gave a short laugh. "That's a dumb school project. Don't think I have to be nice to you when I'm not being graded for it."

Tak rolled her eyes and marched off, MiMi following her not far behind. Gaz pulled her knees to her chin and closed her eyes for a moment.

Minutes passed and she felt herself drifting off. She sat up with a jolt when she heard a string of loud curses coming from the trees. Tak came out holding a box in her hands. MiMi followed, carrying another box on her back. As they came closer, Gaz could smell an odd burning stench. Tak's disguise flickered, and Gaz caught a glimpse of dark green-brown streaks on the alien's face.

_Oh, right. It's been raining all morning, huh._

Tak made her painful way to a shaded picnic table, where she sat, hunched and shivering. She pointed back the way she had come, and MiMi turned back into a red-eyed version of GIR and flew away with the boxes. Tak lay her head down on the table and didn't move after that, except for her shivering.

Gaz watched her for a moment, closed her eyes, exhaled, then let herself slide down the cool metal slope. She took one last look at the alien girl huddled on the picnic table, then turned on the heels of her shiny black rain boots and walked away.

* * *

_Before her eyes, he is pulled apart._

_A blue sphere rolls her way, slimy and sticky green-blue._

_She hesitates just a moment._

_She turns and walks away._

_Calm._

_She is nothing but calm, on the outside._

* * *

She heard the footsteps coming from far away, but the rich smell and the feeling of heat close by were a surprise.

Tak stared at the styrofoam cup, emblazoned with a human convenience store logo, that was a few inches from her face. It contained something that steamed slightly. Gaz sat on the damp metal bench across from her with a matching cup.

"It's hot cocoa. Zim's immune to it. You'll feel warmer."

Tak looked up at her, and ever so slowly pulled the lid off. She stuck one gloved finger in and flicked a single drop onto her arm and winced.

"It's just _really_ hot, don't freak out," Gaz muttered.

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"I'm bored."

Tak scoffed. "This is entertaining to you?"

"It's something to do."

"Why don't you go and participate in social gatherings with your fellow humans instead of me?"

"It's like 7 AM on a Saturday in November, and it's rainy. I'm sure no sane humans are outside."

Tak's human face formed an ugly smirk. "Then what are _you?_"

Gaz found her own lip curling up. "Different."

The rain started again. Gaz slowly sipped at her hot cocoa. Tak hesitated, then did the same.

Her eyebrows shot up.

"It's _sweet."_

Gaz made a face. "Way too sweet. It's gross."

"Humans have weird taste."

"_Aliens_ have weird taste."

Tak rolled her eyes. "Can we just accept the fact that we are from two different species that have evolved different taste receptors which correspond to their different nutritional needs?"

Gaz snorted. "Aliens like the liquid diabetes, got it."

"And I assume humans purchase the liquid diabetes for people they hate."

"I don't," Gaz mumbled.

"Hm?"

"The rain stopped."

"It did."

A minute passed and the rain didn't start again. Rivulets of water flowed down the bright blue awning over their shared picnic table, dripping musically into puddles on the cracked and pitted cement.

Gaz stood up suddenly, taking her half-empty cup of cocoa with her. "I'm going back home."

Tak watched her leave silently, one hand curled around her own precious cup of warm sweetness.

A strange feeling twisted inside her.

_Maybe it's envy._


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Hi, lovely audience, I'm back! After a case of writer's block, followed swiftly by my hard drive going kablooey, the long-awaited chapter is finally here. I realize my writing style has changed since I started this fanfic, but that's the way it's going to be. Warnings for implied genocide (well really, this is still Invader Zim), nightmares, body horror. Here you go!

* * *

Monday started off with the promising pristine white brightness of a foot of snow... and reassurance from the radio announcer that yes, kids, there was still school that day. Gaz rolled her eyes and turned off the radio.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" Dib reached for the radio, but Gaz growled and snatched it away before he could reach it.

"Since when do we listen to Happy Sunshine Pop 105 anyway?"

"Since a very respected member of the local UFO hunting community has a-"

"I am _not_ listening to stupid pop music just so you can hear another of your fellow crazies yak about stupid lights in the sky." Gaz finished her bowl of cereal and put it in the sink. She turned, paused, and gazed pensively into the distance. "Or, you know what, go ahead and listen. I'm going to school now. You can do the dishes."

"Oh, come on!"

"Bye, brother dear." Gaz grabbed her coat and gloves, picked up her backpack from its place by the door, and walked out.

It was deliciously cold outside, and snow crunched cheerfully under Gaz's boots with every step she took. There was just something about the snow that actually made going to school tolerable.

* * *

Snow, Tak decided, was the most hideous part of this planet. The disgusting poisonous slush was stuck to absolutely _everything_, covering the entire city in a white coat of death.

No, the worst part was the cold.

The cold made her face burn worse than the little flecks of ice drifting from the fluffy grey sky did. It made her antennae curl up more tightly, which would have ruined her hearing if not for those implants she'd gotten that one time she was assigned to an ice planet. But this cold was worse than that long-ago mission. Earthen cold was damp and chilly, and somehow creeped under her gloves and into her boots and trickled down her spine. A dull ache spread from the cold metal of her PAK into the depths of her belly. She gave herself a moment to cringe, and continued walking.

_Tomorrow I am going to go to school in my nice, warm ship and if a single idiotic human says anything, I will burn them all._

There was just something about thinking of future conquests that made walking to school tolerable.

* * *

That morning, the Hi Skool students hunched in their desks, shivering, as the principal announced in his warm, soothing voice that the heaters had malfunctioned and would be turned on again promptly.

A few minutes, a loud horrible screech, and a nasty cloud of smoke and fluff later, the principal came back on the PA system, apologizing for the mess. The heaters would probably not be turned on anytime soon, he admitted.

Mr. Couch just gazed at the debris falling from the vent in his classroom, blinked a few times, and said, "Okay, class. Uhhhhhh...get into your groups, and keep the talking down. This project has to be done by, um, the time winter break starts."

Gaz laughed under her breath. "Yeah, like that's going to happen." Tak's mouth twitched into a nearly imperceptible smile.

To keep up appearances, they had started to build a popsicle stick model of a medieval European fortress, complete with tiny mechanical sea monsters in the surrounding moat. This probably had nothing to do with what the class was supposed to be covering, yet they had still made significantly more progress than the other students. Of course, that was probably because Tak enjoyed using the miniature catapult to chuck balls of flaming paper and wadded-up gum at the other projects. Gaz grinned slyly whenever she noticed Tak readjusting the model weapon atop its wooden tower, and in a customary show of teenagerly camaraderie, she provided the gum.

Tak glanced over at Gaz. "What again, exactly, were we supposed to be studying?"

Gaz shrugged and stretched her arms. "Something about Manifest Destiny and America's expansion into the West. Cowboys. Wagon trails. Slaughter of innocent natives."

Tak raised an eyebrow. "Ah. I'm familiar with that."

"And how's that working out for you?"

"Hm. Not well."

"Is it the guys with guns and stupid hats, our pitifully primitive transportation, or..."

"I don't really want to talk about it."

Gaz opened her mouth, closed it for a moment, and said in nearly a whisper, "...I'm not usually the girl who throws pity parties, but it must have been rough."

Tak made an effort to scoff and roll her eyes. "Our brains are wired differently than yours, to put it really, reeeally simply. And pity is stupid," she added quickly.

"And humans are stupid."

"And humans are stupid. You learn quickly!" She made her voice extra bright and sweet. Gaz made a face.

"Trust me, I've been learning it all my life..." Gaz trailed off, staring at the chaos in the room.

Tak watched her for a moment, then leaned her head on her arm and closed her eyes. She felt oddly tired for having completed a whole sleep cycle in the past week. Maybe it was just the cold and the exertion of running around and doing stupid things because of stupid ex-Invaders on this stupid planet of stupid...

* * *

_On Ylpathdia, the sky is white_

_The air is bitter_

_The ground is endless rock-hard cold_

_She walks and walks and there's nobody in sight_

_The wind screams and screams_

_And the inferior life forms_

_cry_

_the sweeping_

_they cry_

* * *

Tak jolted out of sleep. She thrashed for a moment, eye-muscles jerking in their sockets in the all-consuming darkness of her skull-

And her ocular implants came back online but then there was still the horrible tightness around her chest, her squeedlyspooch protesting as Gaz watched, more than just a little wide-eyed with worry and

Her PAK sent a jolt of power through her, energy burning from her core to the tips of her claws. A glob of something escaped her mouth and landed with a _splat_ on the desk.

Air, sweet disgusting just-the-wrong-mix-of-gases _air_ filled her up again. The useless incompetent hunk of metal attached to her spine quickly set to work fixing that other little glitch.

"Tak? Hey. Are you okay?"

_No of course I'm not okay that was a really bad malfunction. But yes, I'm okay thanks to the dozen alterations I made to my own circuitry._

The only thing that escaped her mouth was a garbled noise. Gaz's expression changed from worry to an animal panic to a very human dread. Tak quickly nodded.

"What happened?"

A shrug.

"Are you sure you're fine?"

Tak grimaced and grabbed a stray crayon and scribbled on the closest piece of paper. She glanced at it again, rolled her eyes and turned the paper over, rewriting the message in stupid Earth-English characters.

I'M GOING TO BE FINE IT'S JUST TECHNICAL ISSUES. STOP WORRYING. IT MAKES YOUR FACE LOOK STUPID.

Gaz looked at the paper, looked back at Tak, and looked down again at her hurried message.

"Honestly, you're just so sweet I could kiss you."

Tak stuck out her tongue and wrote again.

I LIKE YOUR SARCASM BUT HUMAN BIOLOGY IS STUPID. LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

"So what can we talk about? Destroying Bobby's Conestoga wagon again?"

YES


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **Yet another chapter, and another two on the way! No warnings. Enjoy, my lovely readers. Please leave a review :)

* * *

Gerard the black stuffed bunny flew up with boneless grace, lingered in the air for a few seconds, then fell back towards Gaz's outstretched hands as she lay belly up on her bed, glaring up at the ceiling. He landed in her hands with a defeated squeak, one button eye wobbling on its loose string.

"I'm not just imagining it, right?"

Up...

"Okay, it's obvious I'm not exactly making as much progress on _Piggy Wars 4: Revenge of the Pork _as I should be, but..."

...down.

"Why is she so ni— well, intere— she's _agreeable_ at most..."

_squeeeak._

"She's a freaking _alien._ Like stupid Zim."

Up...

"I don't need friends! Everyone at school is too stupid anyway."

...down.

"I think I just have a thing for setting things on fire."

_squeeeak._

Gaz sat up, staring into the toy rabbit's sightless eyes. "I think I like her. Her great sense for building miniature siege weaponry, I mean. She's really good with, like, candy wrappers and rubber bands and pencil stubs. Do you think aliens have pencils? She can write by hand pretty well, actually. For a dumb alien who's barely even likable and has a thing for setting things on fire." Gerard didn't say a word back. He never did. Gaz sighed and gently put him back in his spot on her bookshelf.

Frankly, it was ridiculous, the way she'd been acting around the alien girl lately. She was actually looking forward to that dumb history class now. And it didn't matter if they talked a lot one day and didn't say a word to each other the next, there was always a sort of comfortable vibe between them.

Gaz laughed under her breath. "Sociopaths, the both of us, I guess."

Nobody was like her. Nobody was as bitter and cruel and funny and charismatic, and nobody could pull off a lopsided bob as well as she did, not even that vapid shallow Jenna Eubank, no matter how much she tried.

Nobody had so much fire in their eyes.

Nobody made Gaz feel so vaguely frustrated with everything else in the world.

"_Dib, I'm going for a walk!"_

"Okay, cool, can you stop by the computer store and bring back a—"

"No!"

"Come on, Gaz, I need it for a—"

"Shut up!"

Long-sleeved undershirt with black lace trim, lavender tights with black polka dots. Long thick purple socks, ankle-length coal gray dress. And last but not least that luxurious lab-grown-fur-lined hooded black cloak she'd absolutely _drooled_ over since she'd gotten it in the mail around September, but had yet to wear outside. It settled neatly on her shoulders, a mantle of dark, soft, fuzzy warmth. Gaz practically flew downstairs and out the door, and even in her heavy boots she was almost skipping.

Internally.

Skipping was something only stupid little girls did, after all.

Winter had settled down to a dull gray. Gray sky, gray mush on the roads, gray, gray, gray. A flicker of blackness against a patch of white snow caught her attention. Tak's robot cat was staring at her through narrowed red eyes, tail flicking tauntingly.

"What do you want, cat?" Thankfully, in this neighborhood there was nobody around to see her talk to the creature.

MiMi simply blinked and bounded forward through the snow to stop right in front of Gaz. A holographic screen was projected from one of the robot's eyes. A cheesy e-card image started to move, and a tinny "Happy Birthday" played as two aliens ate cake. Gaz's eye twitched. Finally the actual message appeared.

**COME TO DEELISHUS WEENIE**

**MIMI WILL TAKE YOU**

"So I guess you're here to take me?"

MiMi nodded.

"...And I guess you'll take me by force if I disobey?"

Another nod.

"Then let's go."

In a matter of seconds, MiMi turned into what looked like a motorcycle, except she had no wheels and instead hovered above the snowy ground with no visible means of propulsion. Gaz shrugged and got on, carefully rearranging her skirt and praying nothing caught on fire somehow. She grabbed the handlebars, and a second later her forearms, ankles and thighs were clamped in place by metal arms. She flinched, but was very thankful for these restraints when MiMi flew straight up, and then suddenly and jarringly towards the Deelishus Weenie Mansion.

Instead of arriving at the main entrance to the huge, sprawling house, Mimi flew around to a smaller building in the back and stopped under a large tree. Gaz dismounted and stumbled around a little dizzily. MiMi waited patiently for the human to get her bearings, then ran away toward the house. She disappeared between two bushes, and when Gaz pushed through the snow-covered branches, she found an open door.

The door led into a narrow concrete block passage lined with strings of red LEDs. MiMi was always about three feet ahead of her, lighting the way. After a few turns and a frighteningly steep flight of stairs downward, MiMi stopped in front of a door that looked much like a door that would be on the front of a normal house, except it was painted a bright magenta. MiMi reached up and turned the doorknob with both paws. Gaz could hear a series of locks click open. The door swung forward on its own, and MiMi bounded inside, then looked back at Gaz. With a wave of her tail she was off into the shadowy hallway beyond.

Gaz grumbled under her breath. "If this was all a weird convoluted trap I'm gonna..." She sighed. "I don't know."

The place _looked_ clean, not that Tak had really seemed like a slob in the first place. There was some sort of background noise, an unidentifiable electric hum that made her feel on edge.

MiMi finally stopped next to a purple door and sat and stared at Gaz, tail wrapped delicately around her paws.

"What, this is it? I've invaded the inner sanctum of this alien hideout and there's no welcoming party? What is a girl even supposed to do all on her lonesome here?"

"She could start by opening the door in front of her face. I'm a bit tied up here." The unfamiliar robotic voice echoed weirdly in the empty hall.

"What's going on? Who are you?"

"It's Tak, you silly human girl. Door. Now."

"Or what?"

"Or I will give you the worst silent treatment you have ever received."

"Oh noooo, what will I do?" Gaz turned the doorknob anyway.

Tak waved at her from the other side of the room. She sat cross-legged and undisguised on a large pink couch, wrapped in cables that came out of the walls and ceiling. She typed quickly on an alien device and text displayed on the big screen behind her.

**I don't really want to talk because your primitive voice-generating technology is grating to my ears and you can't understand me when I really speak. I have nothing to do until I can access the right software on the Irken web, and you apparently have nothing to do because MiMi found you wandering with no destination and brought you here willingly. So I would appreciate it if you kept me company.**

"So you couldn't have just, I dunno, texted me or something?"

**I have board games and snacks.**

"Well, that's really—"

**Of course, you could just leave me here to get bored enough to start shooting lasers at everything. I have many, many lasers.**

Gaz laughed. "Well, when you put it that way, sure. I'd_ love _to shoot lasers at things with you."

**:)**

"Question: are those angry eyebrows or antennae?"

Tak grinned.

**Either. Sit down wherever you want.**

Gaz grabbed a large red bean-bag kind of thing and dragged it towards the couch. When she sat down on it, she found it was filled with some sort of coolish gel that enveloped most of her body. After arranging herself, she stared at Tak, trying to figure out what to say. Tak watched her with interest.

"So, no traps? No stupid 'Give me your brother's secrets so I can destroy Zim before he blows himself up anyway'?"

Tak shrugged.

**Zim has nothing to do with my goals anymore. He's nothing more than a small bug on the back of a stupid meat-creature headed for slaughter.**

"Well, that's a really pleasant way to put it."

**And, while your brother might get in my way eventually, he's not going to do much damage anyway. I have everything I want from him already.**

"...Am I allowed to know where I fit in your grand scheme of things?"

Tak froze, and Gaz wondered if she could read the alien girl, if the movement of her antennae meant anything at all. Finally, she typed out,

**You could be my ally, I suppose. You're Irken enough, in a way.**

"That's... huh. I don't know how I feel about that."

**You don't have to feel anything.**

_Is that how it works, how you work? No feelings, just a distant goal to push toward?_

"I guess I don't. Forgive me, my wise alien overlord, for having these foolish Earth-feelings."

Tak smiled an almost ugly smile.

**Your flattery is cute.**

Gaz leered back. "If they say flattery gets you nowhere, I might as well flatter you anyway."

**You're adorable, then.**

"You're crazy."

**You don't smell like human filth.**

"Best compliment I've gotten all day."

Tak's face lit up almost imperceptibly, her indigo eyes wider by a smidge. Gaz grinned fully. If this was how their little game was going to work, she liked it.

"Well, you're pretty."

Those words fell from Gaz's lips and lingered in the air, and Tak's eyes narrowed, her antennae dropping behind her head.

**I don't know how to phrase this.**

"Go for it; I might catch on. I'm not _that_ stupid.

**I know human beauty relies heavily on symmetry, overwhelmingly favoring the most average- and healthy-looking features, which are of course the product of having the most varied and healthy genes, which is evolutionarily favorable for your species and the way you reproduce.**

"That is a lot of big, sciencey words, but okay."

Tak rolled her eyes, which Gaz only caught because of the way the light changed in them.

**But that doesn't apply to every situation and it most definitely shouldn't apply to ME because I can't even breed with humans so there's no point in your brains perceiving me as beautiful.**

"You're... Well, this is biased because, you know, it's only me telling you this and that's not how you do science, but you're not _ugly._ Like, this, I mean. You're not. I _guess _you're symmetrical enough or something. And your disguise is fine. Not super gorgeous, but you don't really want to be noticed anyway. I think you look nice." Gaz found she couldn't quite look at Tak anymore. "So, you're pretty."

**I don't think I'll ever understand humans.**

"And I'm not exactly going out of my way to understand Irkens. It doesn't bug me."

**Your heart rate, skin temperature and breathing rate have changed. Something is bugging you.**

"Well, I have all of this heavy winter clothes on. Honestly, I'm dying in here."

**You can take it off.**

_"Aaaaaaaall_ of it?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

**You are ridiculous and I have already researched human anatomy anyway.**

"Hm." Gaz felt her face turn red. She got busy taking off her cloak, and sighed with relief when she came out of the other end of that terrible fuzzy prison of warmth. Immediately she felt much cooler. She noticed Tak watching her with mild interest.

"What?"

**Nothing.**

"Sure." Tak made a face at her and Gaz crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue. Tak smiled and shook her head. Suddenly, her body stiffened up, her eyes wide as she stared at something Gaz couldn't see. Ever so slowly her hands moved across the keyboard.

**I finally got connected. This might take a while. You're free to leave if you want.**

"...You know what? I'm actually fine here."

**Well I'm not going to communicate with you for an estimated two hours. Have fun with your whatever. You are allowed to wander around in the base. MiMi, you know where visitors aren't allowed.**

MiMi appeared out of nowhere and walked over to Gaz, winding around her body and purring like any real cat would. Tak waved, mouthed the words "goodbye", and closed her eyes.

Gaz looked around the room. Pink, red, more pink, no windows, just wires and tubes and screens and pillows. The soft whine and whir of all the computer stuff was starting to get to her. She looked down at Tak's mechanical minion.

"So, cat, where am I allowed to explore?"

MiMi stood up, held Gaz in her cherry-red gaze for a moment, and then bounded off into the dimly lit hallway. Gaz followed, occasionally glancing off into other rooms— computers, scary-looking weapons, piles of metal and junk— until they got to a normal-looking living room with a TV.

"This isn't really adventurous at all."

MiMi narrowed her eyes.

"...On second thought, sure. Okay."

Gaz found the remote and pressed the power button. MiMi hopped on the couch and curled up next to her.

"Is there anything but alien news on here? No movies, cooking shows, history documentaries— oh, joy, cartoons. Do you mind?" MiMi wiggled an ear. Gaz took that as a no. Raucous laughter and cartoon violence danced across the screen, illustrated in harshly bright colors. She didn't bother to turn the volume up, because as quiet as it was, the sound wasn't irritating. It was more like soothing. She leaned back against the deliciously fluffy couch cushions. MiMi started to purr. Gaz closed her eyes...


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** I'm on a roll here, guys :) I encourage you to re-read from the beginning, since I've gone back and fixed a few mistakes here and there. Have a chapter 9, and expect a chapter 10 soon! Reviews are, as always, appreciated. No warnings this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey. Human. I don't know how conscious you are right now, but you're drooling on my couch."

Gaz felt herself floating up from the uncomfortable stickiness of an interrupted nap. Or more accurately, lifted up from the couch by bony arms.

"...m'notdroolin," Gaz mumbled, struggling vainly in Tak's surprisingly strong hold.

"If you say so." There was _almost_ warmth in her voice. "There are more comfortable places to sleep for a human."

"Like in your arms?" She grumbled, settling into a less awkward position.

"As I said before, human anatomy is stupid and weak and I would only injure your delicate muscles."

"You already ruined my nap anyway," Gaz sighed. "Put me down."

Tak laughed dryly, but obliged. "Even your _sleep_ is weak. I could conquer this world by simply never allowing you idiot creatures to sleep."

"And you would be immediately deposed by a horde of grumpy, coffee-fueled zombies," Gaz mumbled, stretching and rubbing her eyes. "So I see you got over your case of weird alien laryngitis."

Tak rolled her eyes and strode off towards her room. "It is much more complicated than a human ailment."

Gaz arched one brow. "Try me."

"Part of my, eh... I supposed you would call it software malfunctioned. Without it I wasn't able to speak. It's complicated and also a classified Irken military secret so I will leave it at that."

"Oh goodness, if I get an alien biology lesson the alien space police will come arrest me."

"Most likely no, since this planet is very much in the middle of nowhere, but it is quite pointless to take any chances."

"You actually _have_ alien space police?"

Tak laughed bitterly. "I was _part_ of the 'alien space police', as you so eloquently put it."

"I am making sparkly uguu anime eyes. Please tell me more."

"That is a story for a time when I wish to subject myself to more misery than I already have."

"But don't _I _make you miserable?" Gaz put on her best flirtatious pout.

Tak stopped and looked at her for a moment. Her antennae twitched and her browbones came together.

"No. No, you don't."

Gaz shrugged. "If I'm not doing my job as defender of the Earth, at least I'm doing my job as weird turncoat sidekick."

They had gotten to the purple door again. Tak paused and stared at the doorknob. "I wouldn't say you're quite my sidekick."

"More like a _plaything_, then?"

"No."

"Okay. I don't need a label. I'm not some specimen jar."

Tak made a noise that was half sigh, half growl, opening the door with a bit more force than necessary and nearly stomping into her room. "You're _frustrating_ is what you are. Irken adolescents aren't this... irritating!"

Even though she didn't even look that angry, Gaz started to feel cold, despite all the clothes she was wearing.

"It's nothing important," she heard herself mumbling as if from a distance. "I don't care."

"It's not like— gah. _Fragile," _Gaz heard her mutter, and the cold weak feeling boiled up into anger.

"Like_ you _don't have a dozen crazy-buttons I could push. Like you don't have feelings however much your stupid _Irken computer-ness _tries to hide it."

And those indigo eyes went cold as the depths of space. And Gaz felt the little hairs on her arms prickle.

"We aren't getting into this right now," Tak said, cold and hard and precise as surgical steel. "We are not. You can go home now if you wish. You could have always left. You didn't even _really_ have to come in the first place."

Gaz sneered, "You're just _all_ about scheming, aren't you? Maybe, if you stopped to think, to factor in the fact that I have _feelings,_ you would've understood that I—" _have feelings for you? No, that's stupid. Stupid stupid stupid._

Tak glared at her, her scarred-up lips curling into an almost-snarl. Gaz had to be imagining the hint of betrayal there.

She just had to.

"You know what? I'm out of here. See. You. In. Class." Gaz let every word drip with the darkness seething inside her. She snatched her cloak from the floor and walked off toward where she vaguely remembered the entrance to be.

_I totally don't feel like puking right about now._

_And I'm definitely not going to cry._

_Nope._

* * *

Tak stared at the readout on her computer screen, rubbing her temples to try to get rid of the headache she could feel coming on. Time after time, after a whole 24 hours spent trying to fix things, she was still getting errors.

_I've gone through every system. Double checked all my implants. I __**could **__connect to the Control Brains, but that would be suicide, if I'm really..._

She grabbed at an antenna compulsively, a smeet-habit she hadn't been able to break in all her years.

"If—" she startled herself by breaking the silence in the lab. She forced herself to continue out loud, as if hearing her own voice was any more reassuring. "If there is nothing I can do, there's no point in continuing this mission. And, I ca— I can't. I can't go back."

"I have to be an exile."

"Just like that idiot Zim."

Realization hurt. Realization clawed at her squeedly-spooch, a dull but insistent pain that made her curl up like a wounded animal. She gasped, feeling blood flow to her face and her vision start to blur. Panic gripped her until she figured it out.

_Incredible. I'd forgotten how it feels to cry._

She lay there, curled in that chair, until her mind went blank and empty and liquid stopped oozing from her eyes.

Not sleep, not quite, but some caricature of peace.

* * *

Gaz glared at the empty desk beside her.

"Really, of all the days you had to passive-aggressively ignore me _and _ditch school?" Gaz muttered angrily at the Irken who was very insistently _not there_. "This had to be the one."

"Alright, er... next presentation? We gotta get this over with before Christmas, folks! Who's ready? Don't be shy."

Mr. Couch wobbled his way through the rows of haphazardly spaced desks. Gaz could smell his horrible stink from five yards away. She summoned up all her dark powers and used them to give him the death glare. Unfortunately, the incompetent teacher didn't drop dead right then and there.

"Hmm, weird goth girl. Where's your weird goth girl buddy? Annnd, more importantly, where's your project?"

"She's sick. She had the project at her house over the weekend and forgot it on Monday. Says she has some sort of, I dunno, Siberian death flu? Reeaaal contagious. You might want to stay like ten feet away from me."

"Well maybe you should _text her_ and tell her to stop making up weird excuses and bring the project over after school. _Or else_."

"Her house is under quarantine for three weeks, sorry. No can do."

The teacher glared at her with his little piggy eyes.

"Well, I guess I'll see you two in here for summer school," he said slowly, like it was the worst possible thing that could happen.

This prompted an "ooooh" from the dimwitted Greek chorus.

"Fine," Gaz said, pretending to examine her fingernails, "If you're flunking me anyway, do I still have to show up to class?"

His rotund pink face turned only pinker.

_Oh god,_ she thought with horrified glee, _I think he's about to explode._

"OFFICE!" His voice shot up a very uncomfortable octave and spittle flew from his mouth.

"Got it."

"YOU NEED A HALL PASS!"

"I'll go straight there, don't you worry." She grabbed her backpack and coat and walked out. As soon as she turned the corner of the hallway, she cackled, and that turned into full-blown laughter that left her leaning against the lockers, hugging herself and wiping tears from her eyes.

"Of all the days you miss class, wow. You don't know what you're... missing..." And as quickly as it had come, her happiness deflated like a cheap balloon. She walked in silence out the side door behind the gym and dragged on her coat. The sun was almost out and water was starting to drip from the overburdened trees. When she got to the street, she stuck to the side of the sidewalk furthest away from the cars that liked to splash in puddles.

"Dear stupid diary," she said to the wind and the noise of the road, "Gaz here. I think I have a weird crush on an alien chick. I hope nobody ever finds out about this in an unhilarious sitcom sort of way. I will murder them. Also, high school sucks and I despise the fact that I have three more years in this horrible place. Ex oh ex oh ex oh heart, Gaz."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note:** Thanks for the reviews, lovely readers! Here's chapter 10, and expect more to come soon. No warnings. Tell me what you think!

* * *

Nearly a week passed, and Tak didn't bother to grace Gaz with her radiantly beautiful presence. On Friday, Gaz lingered outside Mr. Couch's classroom door instead of passing it by on her way home early. When she spotted the pint-sized green guy she was looking for, she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into an empty classroom.

"Okay, what do you know about what's going on with Tak?"

"Foolish earth-human, you don't know who you're dealing with!" Zim screeched and kicked as Gaz held him off the ground. Gaz rolled her eyes and grabbed the wig off his head.

"_Cooperate,_ you stupid alien, or I'll reveal you to the entire school."

Zim gasped in horror. "You wouldn't!"

"I would."

"Well, well, I dunno." He gesticulated wildly. "Something's messed up in her PAK, _obviously,_ and she's probably messed up in the head anyway. De-fec-tive." He mused over something, and then announced with glee, "If _I _took her out, my Tallest would love me! They might even give me a reward! Better not be a gift card to _Shloogorg's,_ though."

She shook him to get him to pay attention to her again. "Is it _fixable_?"

He waved his hand in the air dismissively. "Oh, yeah, there's all this questionable black market stuff _stupid_ defectives do to try and repair themselves. Of course, it only works about half the time, there's no way to get a hold of anything like that here..." Something seemed to occur to him, and his face lit up with evil glee. "..._and,_ if she just waltzes straight back into Irken territory, they'll grab her, put her on trial, and then _zap! _This planet will be _miiiiiine._"

"She's not that stupid," Gaz muttered. Zim seemed to catch what she said, and grinned.

"You'd be surprised." With that, he swung himself backwards out of Gaz's grip, kicked off her chest and turned in mid-air, landing in a skid on his spider-legs. Gaz on the other hand, landed ungracefully on her butt.

"Get back here, you ffff... _Ughhh,_ you kicked me in the _boob."_

"HA! Humans only ever grow _more _weaknesses," he crowed triumphantly. He grinned down at her as he adjusted the wig he had snatched from her hand. "Keep this in mind, Dib-sister: There's _nothing_ you or that defective not-even-an-Invader can do to save this planet, because it's _MINE! _Tell her to keep her ugly claws off _my_ prize and take _her_ posterior back to wherever she came from!" He scampered off.

_Well that was a total waste of time. I guess I understand even less than I thought I did._

_And if he's right about the whole trial thing, then..._

_Then what is she going to do?_

Gaz sat in the silence of the empty classroom for a moment with her head on her knees. Through the thin walls, she heard "_NOBODY GIVES DETENTION TO THE ALMIGHTY __**ZIIIIIM!"**_

"I should probably get out of here," she mumbled to herself. She stuck her head out in the hallway, and after making sure nobody was there, she walked nonchalantly out the side door. Once she got to the street, she started to run.

_I have to talk to her somehow. I don't know what good it'll do, but..._

She fumbled to unlock the front door to her house, dumped all her stuff unceremoniously inside, and half-tripped up the stairs. She flung open the door to Dib's stupidly messy room.

"Come on, Dib, where would you leave an alien communication device?"

Under a pile of dirty clothes and discarded UFO magazines, she finally found what she was looking for. Pink, roundish and vaguely cell-phone-like. She pressed all the buttons, trying to get it to turn on. The screen blinked on, showing a sad alien face and a low-battery symbol, then turned back off again. Gaz chucked the stupid thing at a wall.

"Typical. What the heck do I do now?"

As she glared out the window, she noticed a sunbeam—_An actual freaking sunbeam, are you kidding me? This is absolute proof the world is messing with my head_—shining down on the old shed in the backyard. She took the stairs two at a time and nearly skidded on the wet sidewalk.

_Of course. Dib's lame alien reverse engineering bike._

Even though it didn't have a lock, the shed door wouldn't open. Gazstared at it for a moment, then took a few steps back and ran at it to ram it open with her shoulder once, and then again. After a few more tries, the old splintery door finally opened with a screech of rusty hinges.

_Owwww I am going to be covered with bruises tomorrow._

Gaz felt around in the air for the chain to turn on the light. She found it eventually, as well as a bunch of hanging spiderweb. She cringed and wiped the dusty silk from her hand while the light flickered on.

The bike was a now-obsolete project, cobbled together from bits and pieces of Zim's crashed and discarded robots and Tak's ship, but it flew, more or less, and it only needed like two car batteries to work. Only.

"Alright, batteries. Wires. There's gotta be an on button. I need a bike helmet..."

The thing was simple enough to operate. She'd seen Dib do it a few hundred times. And end up falling on his face about fifty of them, but whatever.

On button.

Start running.

Mount the bike.

Pedal really, really hard.

And then, either it catches on fire, the motor gives out, or...

The subtle change in the way gravity worked around the bike made Gaz's stomach lurch. But she managed to hold on to both her lunch and the handlebars as the thing shot straight up a hundred feet or so.

_Oh my god this is the part where I die, isn't it?_

After reaching some arbitrary height, the bike started to hover. It was wobbly hovering, but at least it wasn't sending her plummeting to her death. She tried to breathe slowly so maybe her head wouldn't spin so much.

"Okay, okay," she breathed, "Now what?" There were no other buttons or switches, but maybe... She gave the handlebars an experimental turn. The bike jerked to the left. She quickly corrected herself. "Now if only I could go forward... _oh. _Duh." Ever so gently she pedaled forward. The bike started to creep forward. When she stopped, the bike stopped.

"I can do this. Yeah. Okay."

She began to fly in the vague direction of the Weenie Mansion. Finally she spotted the sprawling house, luckily just as the bike began to sink down... and down... and down... Gaz petaled as fast as she could toward her goal.

"If you let me fall to my death after all of this," Gaz growled, "I will _kill you._ Or haunt you. Or whatever you do to torture magic space bikes. Listen to me, I'm rambling like a maniac _oh my god, tree!_"

Gaz ended up hanging upside down and tangled in a mess of bike, dress and branches. Luckily the tree didn't break, and even more luckily, the bike didn't blow up.

After struggling and failing to lift herself up into a more comfortable position, Gaz grumbled, "Okay, I know it's just the blood rushing to my head making me crazy, but I probably should've shown up to PE once in a while." As she hung there, she mused about biting a limb or two off to escape. A crunching and rustling sound distracted her.

"I don't know who you are," a familiar voice barked, "but you had better get out of my territory right now, or I will use force. Better yet, get off my planet altogether, you—"

Tak stepped into Gaz's field of vision, peering up at her with an expression she couldn't read. She lowered the laser gun she was carrying.

"Oh. You."

"Me." _I'm not blushing, it's just gravity._

"You do realize that's stolen Irken technology, right?"

"The bus doesn't come out this far." It was a lame excuse and she knew it.

"I could just leave you out here. What would get you first, do you think? The cold, or that sharp-toothed diseased mammal I've seen wandering around?"

"You could just _not_," Gaz mumbled. She couldn't feel her toes anymore, and a cold feeling was creeping—up? down?—her legs.

"Yes," Tak nodded slowly, leaning with one elbow on the butt of her gun. "Of course, Earth wouldn't be as entertaining if you died."

"Well we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"We wouldn't." Tak smirked. A single metal arm extended from her PAK, tipped with flickering pink light that threw crazy shadows around the little clearing the Irken was standing in. "I hope you didn't like that skirt too much. Cover your eyes."

"Wait, what, why?"

"_Do not argue. _Eyes."

Gaz put her hands over her eyes. She could still see the bright pink flash through her skin as a flicker of heat passed over her legs. She fell straight into Tak's arms. Tak retracted her PAK legs slowly and set Gaz on her feet.

"Yes, thank you, no need to repay me," the Irken said with a mock bow.

There was no time for a snappy comeback before Gaz's legs crumpled and she fell to the ground.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **Hi, guys! Thanks for keeping up with this. This is just a short little chapter, but from now on it gets more fun. 10 points for Gryffindor if you can guess what the next chapter will start off referencing! Review please :)

* * *

"Hey. Hey. Gaz."

There was a cool hand on her face, and her neck was bent awkwardly as she lay on something. She tried to move, but her limbs felt too heavy.

"What... happened?"

Tak bent over her, staring into first one eye, then the other. She felt around Gaz's neck until she found a pulse point. "You crashed your homemade transportation device in a tree, I cut you out of it, and then you collapsed."

"How long was I out?"

"Less than a minute."

"I feel so gross. Ugh."

"Your pulse feels gross. The human circulatory system is so weird."

"What's even the point of doing the first-aid-checky-thing on me? You're not a doctor, and you're just going to leave me in the woods if I die anyway."

"It's mildly entertaining to watch all the faces you make at me, for one. Can you walk?"

"Heck no, I am _not_ trying to stand for like five more minutes. Passing out from all the blood suddenly rushing away from your head is not fun at all."

Tak rolled her eyes. "I've said it a hundred times and I think I will keep finding more reasons to say it. Human beings are—"

"Weak, stupid, obnoxious, smelly, whatever. I get it."

"You don't really smell, actually. But the other three things..."

"Were you _smelling me_ while I blacked out?"

Tak shrugged nonchalantly. "It's simply part of my detailed studies of this planet."

Gaz was certain her face was _very_ red at the moment. "_Please say you're kidding."_

"I'm adding 'can't take jokes' to that list. And 'content with sitting in freezing mud and talking nonsense' is another a possible new addition."

"If you're so eager to go inside, I know you can carry me there easily," Gaz muttered.

"If you're so eager to be carried, I know you're capable of being polite," Tak retorted. She sounded _amused._

"Oh, please, wise and strong alien overlord, carry me off into the sunset in your arms."

"Only for you, my annoying weak underling." Tak picked up the laser gun and snapped something off its side. The squareish object went into her PAK and she held out the now-apparently-disarmed weapon to Gaz. "Hold this." Gaz obliged; Tak shifted the human girl into her arms.

There was something comfortable about being carried in her uncomfortably bony arms. Gaz closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the embrace.

_It's not really a hug, why am I fooling myself._

When they reached the entrance to Tak's base, Gaz poked her. "I think I can probably walk now." Tak put her down and motioned for the gun. Gaz handed it to her and the Irken girl spun it twice in her hands and then flipped it into the air. She turned neatly on the ball of her foot just in time for it to land and disappear into her PAK. Gaz raised her eyebrows, impressed.

Tak smirked at her. "_Ages_ of practice. Now walk, just don't go falling all over the place like a newborn Bingbian flock-animal."

"Let's both pretend I know what that means."

Tak sighed and then explained in a jokingly scolding way, but Gaz wasn't really paying attention. She was watching the way the dim tunnel lighting brought out the contours of Tak's face and reflected differently in her eyes.

"...home, right?" Too late, she realized those eyes were focused on her and those lips were shaping a question.

"What?"

Tak spoke in the tone she used when she was talking to one of their more dimwitted classmates. "It's too far and too dark and cold for you to walk home. The sun sets early in this season and latitude."

"Oh. I guess."

"I could take you home once it gets completely dark."

"OrIcouldsleepover," Gaz said quickly, and instantly felt embarrassed.

"A sleepover." Tak frowned like the word tasted funny in her mouth. "That's a customary teenage female activity, right? I got invited to many of those last time I was here."

"Yeah." _Too bad I never went to any. But it's my own fault, I guess._

"Then in the spirit of human friendship, I _guess_ I'll try one."

"Friendship? I thought we weren't friends."

Tak acted offended, but there was still humor in her voice. "Well. If I recall correctly, _you're_ the one who turned down my friendship. I'm merely inviting you to a normal teenage gathering, no friendship required."

_Oh, yay. I'm not even in the so-called friendzone._

"Then I humbly accept your invitation," Gaz said with a curtsy. She looked down at her frayed, jagged, _much_ shorter skirt and cringed. "Just, take me home to get pajamas later tonight, and some new clothes if we're going to go do something in the morning."

"That I can do." They reached the entrance to the base. Tak simply pressed her hand to the doorknob and the door unlocked and swung open. As Gaz followed her inside, MiMi darted out of the shadows to twine around Gaz's legs.

"I don't understand why she likes acting like an Earth feline around you so much," Tak mused.

"Maybe she just likes me? I dunno, you're the one who builds the sentient robots."

"She's not exactly sentient... at least, I _thought_ I programmed her that way. Sometimes SIR units end up like that." MiMi stared up at Tak with innocent ruby eyes and meowed. Gaz giggled.

_I can't believe it. I'm actually giggling. Next thing you know, I'll be wearing pink and swooning all over her... Oh, wait._ She giggled even more. Tak stared at her.

"The more I talk to you, the less you make sense."

Gaz smirked. "Then I'll just talk to _you_ until you get on my level of loony."

Tak made a face. "And aren't I looking forward to that."

"Who invited who, here?"

"I suppose you're right," Tak said with a smirk. She sat down on the couch and waved for Gaz to sit down. "So, what exciting activities happen on these sleepovers?"

"Movies, doing each other's hair and makeup, scary stories, board games, like Ouija maybe...? And talking about crushes and other gossipy junk."

Tak considered that for a moment, then made a face. "...Those all sound hideously boring. How do you _do_ these things?"

"You don't. I mean,_ I _don't." Gaz scowled at her knees. "I'm not exactly surrounded with friends, in case you never noticed."

"Well then we should start. Irken cinema hasn't been around for a long time, so you should pick the movie.

"Then...let's go with one of the most legendary and beloved classic movies of Earth."

"And what is that?"


End file.
